Why You Keep Ending Up In The Same Hole
The moment that changed everything for me wasn’t when I stopped falling. It was when I finally saw the hole for what it was — not bad luck, not other people’s fault, but a pattern. My pattern. And patterns, once you can see them, can be shifted.
That’s what Soulve is for. Not to fix you — because you’re not broken.
Just to help you finally see the hole.
May 17, 2026/by Kimmi StewienThat’s what Soulve is for. Not to fix you — because you’re not broken.
Just to help you finally see the hole.
When Arguing with Your Thoughts Stops Working
So what is (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) or ACT?
ACT is part of the “third wave” of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) approaches.
It doesn’t try to get rid of difficult thoughts and feelings, it just helps us change our relationship with them.
The key message?
You don’t need to control your thoughts and feelings to live a meaningful life.
ACT is less about battling your mind and more about making room for it, then committing to what matters.
April 19, 2026/by Dave JarroldACT is part of the “third wave” of Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) approaches.
It doesn’t try to get rid of difficult thoughts and feelings, it just helps us change our relationship with them.
The key message?
You don’t need to control your thoughts and feelings to live a meaningful life.
ACT is less about battling your mind and more about making room for it, then committing to what matters.
The Invisible Ropes We Learn in Childhood
When elephants are young, trainers tie them to a small wooden stake with a rope. The baby elephant pulls and struggles, tries to escape. But the rope holds, and eventually the elephant stops trying.
Years later that same elephant is enormous and powerful enough to rip the post out of the ground without effort. But it doesn’t.
Because somewhere along the way it learned a quiet conclusion: I can’t break this rope.
March 7, 2026/by Kimmi StewienYears later that same elephant is enormous and powerful enough to rip the post out of the ground without effort. But it doesn’t.
Because somewhere along the way it learned a quiet conclusion: I can’t break this rope.
Breaking the Loop: When Clients Trigger You
None of that was in the message. That was the story I was layering on top of it.
Underneath that story were old beliefs: being “good” meant being available. Being valuable meant being fast. Saying no meant risking rejection, and every request felt like a threat, which meant my nervous system reacted accordingly.
March 3, 2026/by Kimmi StewienUnderneath that story were old beliefs: being “good” meant being available. Being valuable meant being fast. Saying no meant risking rejection, and every request felt like a threat, which meant my nervous system reacted accordingly.
Dating the Same Personality in a Different Body
We don’t chase bad partners. We chase unfinished childhood patterns.
Chemistry is often just recognition. The body saying, I know this. I survived this before. But survival isn’t the same as safety.
Try This ...
Think about your “type.” Not their personality — the emotional experience.
Do you feel Anxious? Chosen? Ignored? Like you’re earning something?
Now ask yourself: Where have I felt this before?
March 3, 2026/by Kimmi StewienChemistry is often just recognition. The body saying, I know this. I survived this before. But survival isn’t the same as safety.
Try This ...
Think about your “type.” Not their personality — the emotional experience.
Do you feel Anxious? Chosen? Ignored? Like you’re earning something?
Now ask yourself: Where have I felt this before?
Positive vibes are powerful. But they’ll never beat out survival patterns.
Positive vibes are powerful. But they don’t automatically dismantle survival patterns.
That’s grown-woman work.
Do I sometimes wish I’d figured it out sooner? Of course. But the journey doesn’t end. Sometimes a wound looks healed, and then it shows up in a new disguise.
The difference now is that I don’t panic. I recognise it. Each time it resurfaces, I meet it with more awareness and less drama. I’m healing at deeper layers.
That’s the work.
March 3, 2026/by Kimmi StewienThat’s grown-woman work.
Do I sometimes wish I’d figured it out sooner? Of course. But the journey doesn’t end. Sometimes a wound looks healed, and then it shows up in a new disguise.
The difference now is that I don’t panic. I recognise it. Each time it resurfaces, I meet it with more awareness and less drama. I’m healing at deeper layers.
That’s the work.