Posts about emotional processing, inner healing, grief, boundaries, shadow work, truth-telling

Feelings & Defences: What Are You Really Avoiding?

Let’s be honest—facing our feelings can suck. So we don’t. We scroll. We snack. We keep busy. We dive into work, wine, or someone else’s drama instead. All totally human responses, by the way. Avoiding feelings like loneliness, shame, fear, or anger isn’t just common - it’s often automatic. But every time we dodge those emotions, we’re reinforcing unconscious patterns. These patterns are called defence behaviours, and they can sneak in dressed up as “coping” or even “being productive.” One of my favorite quotes comes from Caroline Fenkel, Executive Director of Newport Academy: “When you’re busy numbing out your feelings, your feelings are in the other room doing push-ups.” Brilliant, right? Because when you finish your binge-watch or sugar-binge or shopping spree, those feelings come back stronger. Fitter. Ready to fight.

Feel It to Heal It

When people say “feelings,” we usually think of stuff like hunger, exhaustion, or freezing our butts off in winter. But the emotional kind? We’re often taught to shove those down or slap on a fake smile and carry on. Here’s the truth: emotions are here for a reason. There are six core ones — happiness, sadness, fear, anger, disgust, and surprise — and everything else is just a remix. Think of them like primary colours, blending into an entire emotional rainbow.

Every Emotion Has a Job — Even the “Ugly” Ones

We tend to label emotions as good or bad — but the truth? Every emotion has a job. It’s not about getting rid of the hard ones; it’s about getting curious about what they’re trying to show you. Let’s take a peek at a few familiar faces...

Feel The Feeling But Don’t Become The Emotion

Feel the feeling but don't become the emotion. Witness it, allow it, release it. Crystal Andrus   Okay, let’s get real about feelings. We toss the word around all the time, but do we actually know what we’re talking about?…

Your Wound Is Probably Not Your Fault

Life is full of little (and sometimes big) wounds. Maybe you were a baby left to cry and somehow decided the world ignores you. Maybe it was your first heartbreak in your teens or your first partner who cheated. These experiences leave marks, pack away in the subconscious, and sometimes, we let them shape how we show up in the world. A friend betrayed you? Boom—you build walls around your trust. Heartbroken by a cheater? Suddenly every new love feels like a risk. Sound familiar? It’s normal, it’s human… and it can also get out of hand if you’re not careful.